Psychotherapist Highlights Six Traits of Coercive Partners

Psychotherapist Leah Aguirre has identified six key traits that characterize coercive partners, shedding light on the subtle tactics employed to manipulate and control individuals in relationships. In her recent book, Aguirre explores coercive behavior, highlighting its detrimental effects on mental health and well-being, often overshadowed by discussions surrounding narcissism.

Coercive relationships can manifest in various forms, including the rapid acceleration of romantic feelings and the policing of personal friendships. Aguirre’s insights are particularly relevant as many individuals may encounter such dynamics without recognizing them.

Aguirre shares her personal experience of enduring a coercive relationship in her early 30s. Initially, her partner praised her career and interests, but as the relationship progressed, his admiration turned into criticism. “Everything I did was criticised or questioned but in a nuanced way,” Aguirre recalls. This shift can be insidious, often leaving the victim feeling perplexed and isolated.

As the relationship deepened, Aguirre faced relentless scrutiny over her professional choices and social interactions. Her partner disparaged even the most mundane aspects of her life, labeling her favorite television shows as “shallow and superficial.” The emotional toll became significant, leading to chronic headaches and heightened anxiety.

Aguirre emphasizes that the coercive partner’s behavior can extend to social settings, creating an environment of fear and embarrassment. “He said he would be embarrassed to bring me to a work function because of the way I ate,” she reflects. This moment marked a turning point for Aguirre, prompting her to reevaluate the relationship.

Understanding the characteristics of coercive partners is crucial for individuals who may find themselves in similar situations. Awareness can empower individuals to recognize the signs and take steps to reclaim their autonomy. Aguirre’s book serves as a guide to identify coercive behaviors and offers strategies for escaping their control.

In a world where relationships can significantly impact mental health, Aguirre’s work shines a light on an often-overlooked issue. By bringing attention to coercive dynamics, she aims to help others break free from toxic influences and foster healthier connections.