Understanding “Sense of Presence” Experiences During Grief

As the festive season approaches, many individuals experience a heightened sense of grief. The emphasis on connection during this time can amplify feelings of loss, particularly for those who remember loved ones no longer present at family gatherings. Some bereaved individuals report what scientists term “sense of presence” experiences, where they feel the presence of the deceased in unexpected and comforting ways.

What Is the “Sense of Presence”?

These experiences can manifest in various forms, including familiar scents, fleeting visions, or even a comforting touch. A 2020 review of studies revealed that between 47 percent and 82 percent of bereaved individuals reported experiencing such phenomena. For example, one individual described sitting alone at a table and feeling the comforting arm of their deceased loved one around their shoulders. Another shared how the scent of cigar smoke triggered memories of their grandfather, reinforcing their sense of his ongoing presence.

Research indicates that these experiences are not isolated incidents but part of a broader pattern. In a significant study conducted by psychiatrist William Dewi Rees in 1971, nearly 40 percent of 293 widowed individuals in Wales reported sensing their deceased spouse. Rees’s work pioneered the exploration of bereavement, suggesting these sensations provide comfort rather than pathology.

The Psychology Behind “Sense of Presence” Experiences

Despite the prevalence of these experiences, the world of psychiatry has long struggled to incorporate them into mainstream understanding. Traditionally, senses of presence were often dismissed as hallucinations or attributed to spiritual beliefs, leaving little room for psychological interpretations. The introduction of the Continuing Bonds Theory in the 1990s, as discussed in the influential book “Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief” by Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman, and Steven Nickman, marked a turning point. This theory posits that such experiences reflect an ongoing emotional connection with the deceased, rather than a sign of mental instability.

Research conducted during a PhD program focused on the emotional bonds between the bereaved and the deceased. Interviews with 26 individuals across New Zealand, Australia, Canada, and the United States revealed that emotional closeness, rather than spiritual beliefs, was the primary factor in experiencing a sense of presence. Participants frequently reported these experiences occurring during moments of emotional vulnerability or in locations associated with the deceased.

The understanding of how the brain processes grief is still evolving. Current research explores the concept of a “person network” within the brain that stores memories and emotions linked to significant individuals. When someone close dies, the brain does not immediately adjust this network, leading to a prolonged process of adaptation as it learns to maintain bonds with the deceased.

This adaptation process is not characterized by denial but rather a gradual reshaping of the relationship. The absence of a loved one at holiday gatherings, for instance, can create a gap that the brain must learn to navigate while retaining the emotional ties formed during their life.

Research efforts are now focusing on understanding how these experiences differ from neurological phenomena. Unlike autoscopic hallucinations, which can feel disorienting or unfamiliar, senses of presence are typically recognized and embraced by the bereaved. This distinction highlights the interplay of attachment, memory, and meaning in shaping these experiences.

To further explore these phenomena, an ongoing electroencephalogram (EEG) study is measuring brain activity to understand how different relationships activate unique person networks. Initial findings suggest that each significant relationship may trigger distinct patterns in brain response, shedding light on why some individuals continue to feel the presence of a loved one even after death.

As the festive season encourages reflection on connections, the phenomenon of sense of presence offers insights into how individuals carry meaningful relationships forward. Understanding these moments and discussing them openly may enhance our comprehension of grief, particularly during a time that underscores the importance of connection and remembrance.